By digitalart
freedigitalphotos.net
I recently came across this wonderful article on values by Dr. Jonathan Horowitz. He defines values as “the things that are deeply meaningful for us,” such as important people in our lives, activities, experiences, and guiding principles. We all have our own unique set of values, and Dr. Horowitz has a lot to say about them and why we should pay attention to our own.
I’ve always believed that one of the reasons my son Dan never dealt with recovery avoidance is because his values were crystal clear to him, and he was determined to not let OCD get in his way. In an article I wrote over two years ago, I discussed two main roadblocks to recovery: fear and lack of incentive. When the incentive to recover outweighs the fear of treatment or recovery (yes, there are those with OCD who are afraid to recover), OCD sufferers can successfully battle their disorder. Here is what I specifically said about Dan:
Dan is an artist and has been passionate about becoming an animator for years. His hard work paid off when he was accepted into one of the best colleges in the world for animation. When OCD struck with a vengeance toward the end of his freshman year, there was no way he was going to give up his dream. Pursuing this dream was his main incentive to get better. In fact, he wanted help so badly that he couldn’t wait to spend his summer at a world-renowned residential treatment program for OCD.
We are fortunate that Dan found his passion at such a young age, as it served as such a powerful incentive for him to recover. Also, before severe OCD struck, Dan was a happy child with a lot of joy in his life. I think this knowledge of how wonderful life could be was also a strong incentive for Dan. He had a great life and he wanted it back. For those OCD sufferers who have struggled at length with depression or have never known happiness, the incentive to recover from OCD may not outweigh their fears.
So two of Dan’s values, art and joy, helped propel him toward recovery.
But when it comes to OCD, nothing is simple. As many with the disorder will attest, OCD tries to steal from you the very things that matter the most. Yup, your values. Is a loving relationship the most important thing in your life? OCD will make you question it. Working toward the career of your dreams? OCD might tell you it’s not for you or there’s no way you’ll be successful. Wouldn’t hurt a fly? OCD will try to convince you you’re a danger to others. In Dan’s case, OCD stole his joy, his art, and everything else that mattered to him. But thankfully, not for long. I am truly grateful that his incentive to get better outweighed his fears.
Once again, we see how complicated OCD can be, and for those who are struggling with recovery, perhaps identifying your values might be a good start. Certainly a good therapist can help you with that. If OCD has already stolen your values, maybe this realization might be enough to motivate you to fight back. And if everything that matters to you is still intact, please don’t let OCD control you any longer. Attack it with Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, and all your values, the things you hold dear, will remain unscathed.
ocdtalk 
Very good points. OCD does hit at my values, which is one of the reasons it is so painful. When I started with my counselor who specialized in treating OCD, I was motivated. OCD had more or less cost me a job that I dearly wanted. However, when things got tough(er), I needed to go back and re-motivate myself. When I talked to my counselor about needing to identify the reasons that made fighting OCD worth it, she said she thought we had already done that. Of course, she had nothing against me doing it again. But what I’m trying to say is that sometimes we need to go back and review why we are putting ourselves through ERP because ERP is emotionally costly. Thanks for bringing up values. It is an important topic for those dealing with OCD.
I think you make some great points, Abigail. It makes sense to me that we all should revisit as well as reevaluate our values periodically, as they can certainly change throughout our lives. So with OCD, I’m guessing the motivating factors to go forward with ERP therapy might change also. And even if they don’t, a “pep talk” is a great idea! Thanks for your insight.
I agree Abigail. Sometimes those reasons need to be re-visited several times to keep motivation up.
Great post, Janet. That was a very good article about values, and it makes sense that to face the hardships of moving forward and healing, it can help to know what we’re fighting for. I don’t think anyone ever talked to me about that in therapy. I think I just went with the idea that I wanted to be WITHOUT pain. I need to do some thinking about this. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing, Tina. I like how you put it: “It can help to know what we’re fighting for.” Absolutely!
There is nothing I love more than when I can tell that someone who doesn’t have OCD understands it very well anyway. Clearly you do. I agree 100% about values, and their importance in recovery. My psychologist was very clever in helping me to clarify them and make them the central reason for working so hard to get better. And we NEED a strong, legitimate reason, because ERP is such hard work.
Thanks for the compliment, Sunny! So glad your psychologist helped you clarify your values. I’m sure it helped you keep your “eye on the prize” as you tackled ERP.
Great post Janet. So very true too! It took OCD to try and take away my boyfriend for me to work out that I had OCD. It’s what pushed me to get treatment. But this has been a fantastic reminder of what is important to me in this battle. And it came on a day I really needed it, thank you 🙂 x
I’m so glad you feel the post is helpful. I think we all need reminders once in a while of what’s important in our lives, whether we have OCD or not. I’m so glad you’ve gone forward with treatment. Thanks for sharing and I hope to hear from you again!