A version of this post first appeared November 2015…..
With the holiday season upon us, many of us are firmly entrenched in the excitement, anticipation, and busyness of this time of year. Maybe we will visit friends or relatives. Perhaps a small army of loved ones will descend upon us in our own homes, or maybe we will be part of smaller, more intimate gatherings.
Whatever our holiday plans involve, there are bound to be changes in our routines. While this can be unsettling for many people, those suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder might have a particularly tough time, especially when dealing with vacationing and traveling. It’s not hard to see why these situations might trigger all kinds of concerns for those with OCD. No matter what type of OCD they are dealing with there’s always lots to worry about when stepping out of one’s comfort zone. Some concerns might include:
Will I be able to use the public or hotel restroom?
What if I hit someone while driving on the highway?
What if I get sick while I’m away?
Will my family be safe?
The questions are endless and will be different for each person with the disorder. As you can see, however, all these concerns revolve around one thing: the uncertainty of what will be. Those with obsessive-compulsive disorder have the need to know, for sure, that all will be okay.
Friends and family also are affected when traveling and vacationing with someone with OCD. Having to alter plans, not being able to be spontaneous, and dealing with high levels of anxiety are just some of the many examples of how OCD can impinge upon a vacation. Before actually leaving home, anticipatory anxiety with all of its “what ifs” and doubt can be particularly distressing. Interestingly, anticipatory anxiety is often worse than the actual event being agonized over. So what should those with OCD do when faced with all these holiday events fraught with doubt and uncertainty?
The answer is clear. They should push through their anxiety as much as they can and embrace the doubt and uncertainty that is holding them hostage. Yes, there is uncertainty that comes with traveling or vacationing or entertaining. Indeed, there is uncertainty in every aspect of our lives, and we all need to learn to accept, not fear, it.
I know it’s not easy. But it is possible.
If you have obsessive-compulsive disorder, I propose that you give yourself a gift this holiday season and make the commitment to stand up to your OCD. Embrace exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy in the year to come and reclaim your life. You deserve to enjoy the holidays, and every day, with your family and friends instead of being controlled by obsessions and compulsions. It will not only be a gift to yourself, but just might be the best gift you could ever give to those who love you.